Darling, you have no idea.

Sarah. 23. Story enthusiast.

incognitoprompts:

midnightlighthowlite:

oursexyking:

whatwouldjessicajonesdo:

hiccstridforever:

durinswrath:

kurtsaunt:

justin-john:

wtfhistory:

jesuisuneetoile:

THIS IS MARRIAGE!!

Thats right!

Permission to be a bad ass. Nod.

He looks back at the guy like, “SEE THAT? SHE SAID YES. YOU’RE SO FUCKED.”

Like, guys. Sparta was so kick ASS sometimes when it came to women. Spartan women were given these small knives so that if their husbands came home and tried to hit them or assault them, they had a weapon within reach. That weapon was for CUTTING THEIR HUSBANDS’ FUCKING FACES so that when he went out in public everyone would know he was an asshole, abusing jerkface and they would publicly shame him.

LET’S JUST TALK ABOUT SPARTAN WOMEN FOR A SECOND.

In Sparta, women could own land and were considered citizens. THAT IS A HUGE BIG FUCKING DEAL. Why? Because that was RARE AS FUCK and there are lots of places TODAY where women don’t even get that much.

Divorce was totally fine, and a woman could expect to keep her own wealth and get custody of the kids because paternal lineage wasn’t very important. And it didn’t make her a pariah! She could totally remarry, no big deal at all.

Spartan women participated in some fuckin’ badass sporting events, too. And because they were expected to be as physically fit as the Spartan menfolk (who all had to serve compulsory military duties, btw, and couldn’t marry until they finished them at thirty) they didn’t have time for lots of swishy dresses. So they wore notoriously short skirts. According to some accounts, their thighs were visible at all times. HOLY SHIT. 

Also, In Sparta men only got their names on their graves if they died in battle. And women? Women only got their names on their graves if they died in childbirth. THE SPARTANS COMPARED CHILDBIRTH TO FUCKING BATTLE AND IT WAS VIEWED AS A GODDAMN BADASS AND HONORABLE WAY TO GO OUT.

FUCKING SPARTAN WOMEN. THIS DUDE HAD FUCKIN’ BETTER MAKE SURE SHE’S COOL WITH WHATEVER HE’S DOING, IF HE KNOWS WHAT’S FUCKIN’ GOOD FOR HIM.

^^ I throughly enjoyed the history lesson dashed with the colorful adjectives.

I mean, he knew she was Cersei… lol

And the women were trained the exact same way as men were. As children they were equals ; they were not allowed to wear clothing until a certain age and at that point they were sent away to a training camp until they were 18. It was only the men who were sent into the wilderness for an extra two years to ensure their strength for battle. 

Plus the women could marry whomever they pleased and the men weren’t allowed to live with the women in their house until she said so. And they were tough in Sparta but also all about family. To have male offspring was good luck, to have female offspring was an honour. 

This part of the movie was true; King Leonidas really did kill a man because he insulted his wife and he always ensured that he had his wife’s approval. And while Leonidas was away in battle she did rule Sparta on her own. 

Sparta knew what was up. 

#Hiccstrid

As a historian I can confirm all of this is totally true and amazingly badass.

It’s also worthy of note that people like to romanticize Athens because of its democracy whereas Sparta was a hardened monarchy. But Athens was nowhere near as open for women as Sparta was.



I’m sharing this here for those writers who need a touch of history or inspiration

(via jasprjordamn)

buh-no:

spoonmeb:

lazycatcorner:

butnotinthisone:

kittydesade:

needstosortoutpriorities:

ruskiizek:

Slavic Cossack dancing known as Hopak 

Warning: Do not try this at home unless you were born with super Slavic knee strength 

THE GUY AT THE END

Ahahah it’s not just knee strength you need, friend. It’s thighs, ass, ankles, calves, you need everything from your waist down to be horrifyingly fit and toned for this.

Also core strength. So include the waist. Everything from the nipples down. 

Don’t forget absurd back flexibility

 “Ballet is a really hard dance to master.”

Slavic dancing: “Hold my beer.”

My thighs are burning just watching.

this video just laughed at me for being out of shape.

I had a friend growing up that was from Slovakia or Ukraine, I don’t remember which. I knew him from kindergarten to 2nd grade. And since there wasn’t a large enough slavic community for this kind of dancing, he did competitive ballet. He would constantly complain that it wasn’t hard enough. Guys, its competitive ballet, one of the hardest sports you can be in as a young person. Those C-jumps the guys were doing? In american ballet or dance you usually only get your chest to where you head was. They have their bellybutton or hips where their head was. That’s fucking nuts with out running or a pre jump. This kind of dancing was constantly going on at their house. I would like to point out that’s insane. His mom and dad dance almost every day. Not as high since age. But still.

(via jasprjordamn)

beyoncescock:

disney: attractions to appeal to your nostalgia or flaunt our licensed properties

universal: attractions designed to immerse you in our movies

six flags: do you wanna just barely cheat death?? here’s a 100000 ft roller coaster that goes faster than light

(Source: ambiguouslyevil, via pullthetriggersidney)

likeshipsonthesea:

ahausonfire:

sexydexynurse:

By the time Dex moves out of the Haus he will have completely renovated it. There won’t be anything of the original Haus left except the foundation and Mandy and Jenny, and I’m not completely convinced that he won’t figure out a way to replace the foundation and give the ghosts a makeover.

forget queer eye, give me dex fix for ghost chicks

#I believe it#this is how dex deals with stress#an emotion: appears#dex: I have to go fix something *right now*#mandy and jenny start telling him where all the squeaky floorboards are#william j. poindexter#omgcp#check please (rhysiana)

(via lizards-online)

girlsfrommars:

thatisrad:

You don’t have to fake orgasm to help your partner’s ego. The guy I lost my virginity to wrote a play about the experience, and the character based on me gave a monologue about how she regretted sleeping with him because no one else would ever be that good. So, yeah. Just tell him you didn’t cum. 

Im sorry he wrote a fucking what

(via andrewmyniard)

if you’re having a bad day

mckenziekatherine:

mckenziekatherine:

mckenziekatherine:

just remember that I, a registered nurse with a bachelors degree, accidentally glued a patient’s foreskin shut over his penis and had to call a urology doctor to come help me get it to retract

I had to send a page that said “I glued the patient’s penis shut. send help.”

The urology resident said, “Wow. I’ve never seen anything like this. Let me go ask someone else.”

It’s been like 5 days since this happened and I’m just sitting at the nurses station with some coworkers and the urology resident walks by and says “hey! Glue any penises shut lately??” And keeps on walking

THEN ALL MY COWORKERS WERE LIKE WHAT JUST HAPPENED

and so yeah, that freaking doctor exposed me and went on his way

(via andrewmyniard)

patron-saint-of-smart-asses:

taylor-tut:

taylor-tut:

y’all know that john mulaney quote “the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?”

every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen

image

i got this pen four years ago when i was working as a barista at starbucks. I was on the registers and taking the order of this woman, who ordered a nonfat latte, because she was “watching her weight”

so this guy behind her, whom no one was talking to, for some fucking reason says “wathing your weight? but what about the wait for your watch?“ (which is a completely unhinged response. like just complete Mad Hatter nonsense)

anyway this lady gets really uncomfortable and of the five people (me, him, her, the other checker, and the customer at the other register) who were now sucked into the uncomfortable silence, i decided that i should alleviate the tension by saying “you can’t wait for a watch; you don’t have the time”

and then he said “oh, quick girl!”, gave me that pen, got out of line, and left without ordering anything 

You pleased a mad fae trickster

(Source: taylortut, via andrewmyniard)

positivelyenby:

alxrz:

heads up for any trans people in nj, a new law goes into effect 2/2/19 that allows you to amend your birth certificate with your correct gender by filling out a form, a letter from a surgeon isn’t required anymore👍🏼

🦇🦇

(via hoenursey)